Mamba.

Theres just too much going on in my head right now. It wasn’t ever supposed to happen like this. Not Kobe. He was supposed to be one of those people that grows old as hell and you just look at them in awe at everything that they’ve done throughout their life. One of those people where you’d look at them and think, wow. He really did ALL that. He was just getting started. Obviously, he’s one of the greatest to ever hoop. But it’s way, way deeper than that. My thoughts are jumbled. There are just too many things to think, but not the right combination of words to describe Kobe and his impact and how this makes me feel. Sad. Mad. Grateful. Surreal. The more I think about it the more it stings. When I think of my life, I think of Kobe. Not because I’m anything like Kobe nor will I ever be anything close, but because I’ve literally modeled my life and everything that I do and think after Kobe Bean Bryant. Everything. I will never be anything like Kobe in anything that I do, but he was the blueprint that I studied. For hours and hours on end, Kobe is the person I studied throughout my entire life. Kobe has been the superhero that I’ve looked up to. There’s not a single day that goes by where I dont think about the things that Kobe has done and all of the things that he was working on. Literally one of my biggest goals in life was to work with Kobe at some point in storytelling. My goal was to get to the point to meet him and tell him thank you for all that he has done for me in my life without even knowing it. He’s the only person I’ve ever wanted to really meet and be in their presence. And im just one person. The whole world is shocked and sad today, and so many people who have never met Kobe feel it. It wasn’t ever supposed to happen like this. Kobe was one of those people who was invincible. When I saw the first reports, I couldn’t believe them. They had to be fake. There was no way that Kobe could be gone. Not this soon. I knew that Kobe would be one of those people where it would be a sad day when he was gone, but I didn’t think that would happen for another 60 years. And his family. I can’t even imagine how that must be. And the rest of the passengers who were on the helicopter and their families. Mortality is something that I often think about. It crosses my mind a lot actually. But when something like this happens, it doest even make sense. I mean, KOBE? This shit shattered me. I’m writing this up only because there’s no better way for me to express my emotions about this. Im mad that life would do that. To people that had so much more life to go and so many more things to do. It pisses me off. Everything changes so fast. I keep trying to write more words and I can’t. Im overwhelmed. But this is the only way I can express how im feeling without being so angry and sad. Its one of those days where you just want to sleep and wake up and realize that all that shit was fake and everythings actually all good. Ive never met Kobe, but he was my biggest role model. My hero. Theres nobody that I’ve looked up to more. There was one time where someone that worked with Kobe sent me his newest book at the time from granity studios and I opened the box like oh dope I meant to buy this book anyways and I flipped through the first couple pages to find out that the book was signed by Kobe. It was the coolest gift id ever gotten. So I took some pictures of the book and sent it over to the guy saying thank you and he told me that Kobe saw the photos and said that he liked them. The fact that Kobe saw some photos I took, as a photographer, was insane. And as a kid, id save all of my money for Kobe’s that would drop. All of it. I used to ask my parents if they could pay me to do work around the house like pulling out all of the weeds in the backyard just so I could make some money and save up. Shit, I still get mad when I try to buy new Kobe releases and they sell out in my size. Kobe is the GOAT to me.  But man, im just lost. Used to spend hours just rewatching Kobe’s games, highlights, interviews, all that. Then going and talking to trainers and players and hearing their Kobe stories, it was all just insane. So much bigger than life and yet he was human just like the rest of us. Yeah, there are life lessons that people can take from today. Like making sure you tell people you love them, living life how you want to, doing what you love. All that. But right now, im just sad and in pain off this. That was my hero. The guy I modeled my life after. If I live my life even half of how he lived his, I think I would be okay. Shit, even if I lived an ounce of that. Grateful to have lived in the same time as Kobe. Grateful to have witnessed his life. Sad to see so much life and potential gone far too soon. Mad that life pulled some shit like this. But I know life goes on. And the best way to honor him is to work as hard as we fuckin can in anything we do, live life with passion, and have that Mamba Mentality. We are capable of more than our perceived limitations. RIP Mamba, Gigi, and all of the passengers involved. Prayers to Vanessa and the families involved. Mamba Mentality Forever. Thank you Kobe.