February 5.
I remember it like it was yesterday.
I got up at the usual time. Around 4:30 on a Monday morning. February 5, 2018 to be exact.
I went through my usual routine. Wake up, fix my bed, stretch, reflect and drink tea, shower, then work. After working for a bit, I would head to school and get there at 7 AM, giving myself one hour to prepare for my first class of the day. This particular day, I was getting ready for an Ancient Civilizations history class. I was sitting in the Outtakes Cafe in Lone Mountain at the University of San Francisco. I remember I got up from doing some work and I packed my things, went outside, and called my mom. I told her I was just going to go home and edit some pictures.
This was something that had been on my mind since the first semester of going to USF. I would always joke about it, but a lot of jokes tend to have some truth to them. “Yeah school’s cool. I’m probably gonna drop out though.”
It’s weird because not many people would have expected me to drop out of school. I was never the smartest kid in school, but I worked incredibly hard. That put out the perception that I was smart because I was good at school. In reality, I just worked longer hours than most students.
Going back to the decision, this is something that I had thought about for over a year before I actually did it. I was going into the second semester of my sophomore year when I dropped out. Luckily, I prepared my parents for this decision way before it happened. I always asked them how they would feel if I dropped out. Of course, they told me that they would want me to finish school. Just like any other parent would say. As time went on though, they started to realize why I wanted to drop out and became more and more understanding with it. When it came to the point where I decided to pull the trigger, they supported it 100%. That is something that I will forever be grateful for. They don’t get enough credit for being so flexible and willing to even trust me in such a life altering decision.
The people who know that I’m not in school tend to ask me what that process looked like or what the people around me thought about it. For one thing, I’m just blessed to have an incredible support system. In high school, I honestly didn’t feel like I had that, but it was a weird time in my life. As I kept growing, I understood what I had and who was in my corner. My whole family, my girl friend, and my friends have all been supportive of everything that I do and the decisions that I make. It was actually a very hard decision to make. It’s scary. I had no idea what I would do and how I would do it. All I knew was that my gut was telling me to just make the leap.
Since then, I’ve gotten to do some pretty amazing things. After dropping out, the next month, I had the opportunity to shoot at the McDonald’s All-American Game in Atlanta, Georgia. Literally the following week, I got to shoot for Adidas and the Euroleague in Madrid, Spain with Devin Williams. I’ve taken pictures of people like James Harden, Rick Ross, Famous Dex, E40, Nick Young, Tyson Chandler, Alana Beard, Donovan Mitchell, Zion Williamson, Stephen Curry, Luka Doncic, and more. I traveled to places like the Philippines, Hawaii, London, and some music festivals. I’ve gotten to work with SLAM Magazine, Overtime, In The Lab, and the Warriors. All of it has been amazing.
Overall, dropping out has been one of the best decisions I’ve made, but also one of the hardest. These days aren’t easy. It’s just as mentally draining as it is physically. I’m still trying to grow with my photography and figure my life out, just like any of us are. I spend a lot of time locked in the house just home schooling myself and trying to get better. Whether that’s diving into new books, watching videos, or doing research. I know I’m working as hard, if not harder, as the next guy. As fun as it all may sound and seem, I’m definitely putting in the work to get there. I know that none of this is guaranteed. I actually don’t expect for good things to come despite me working hard. Nobody owes me anything. The world doesn't owe me anything, no matter how hard I work. Because of that, I’ll keep working. If there’s any advice that I can give to anyone trying to figure it out right now it would be to work hard, take yourself serious but don’t take life too serious, have fun, believe in yourself, be grateful, and be present.
I’m as efficient as I’ve ever been. I’m happier than I’ve been in the last six years. I’m closer to my family. I’m closer to my friends. I’m hungrier than I’ve ever been.
For anyone that has any questions, feel free to ask them and have a conversation with me. Clearly I don’t have all the answers lol, but i’ll do my best to help out in any way that I can.
To Live and Prosper.
- JSquared